That is the last thing I could have imagined him requesting. If I were to put my expectations on a list, me drawing him would be number 5, after sex, kissing and making out. And as the seconds tick, my respect and love for him grows. Holy shit! I said, love! Red, you are I so much trouble!
“Is everything okay? You are unusually quiet,” Kaz asks worriedly. “If you don’t feel like it, it is okay.”
“No, it is not that. It…it is stupid!” I say, placing my hands on my face in embarrassment.
“Really, tell me!” He says playfully.
“No!” I say, shaking my head vigorously. There is no way I am going to tell him, I am having sexual thoughts about him. You might as well colour me red.
I realize too late what I have done. Shit! What will he think? I know we are engaged and stuff, but I didn’t mean to be too forward with him. Why the hell couldn’t you just control your emotions? Come on Red, you must admit, the guy is cute. Plus, you were happy what better way to express that happiness? Kiss the man who will marry you in future. Red. I still can’t believe that’s my name.
I keep my eyes closed so that I don’t see the look of disgust on Kaz’s face. It would gut me to see the frown on his face because of my actions. So, I keep my eyes closed and talk myself into breathing steadily. Keep calm, Red. Keep ca…
“Why are the faces blacked out?” I ask still looking at the drawings with a frown.
“Because I can’t see their faces. They are always behind a dangling light.”
“And you have the same dream every time?” I ask her again. I can imagine the horror of having lucid dreams every time you sleep. Since I don’t know how it feels, I can only try to understand what she is going through.
“Yes,” She says in a shrug.
Maybe I can put another smile on her face again. I know just the thing. I adjust her head and reach for my phone on the bedside table and text Alex.
I watch her as she sleeps. So serene, so beautiful, so soft. As I run my fingertips down her cheeks, I wonder when I became this emotive guy. A guy who has developed a deeper understanding of the human emotion. If my sister were here, she would ask what I have done with Kaz. The Kaz she knew was an ass hole. Is it true that one person has the power to change another human being?
Again, my head goes back to my physical ministrations of this girl’s skin. She feels like velvet. I wonder what she is dreaming about. Is she thinking about me? Damn, what is wrong with me. Why is it important that she thinks about me? Besides, she said I was not her type. That hurt like hell. Of course, I didn’t tell her that or react… but still. A deep hole I never knew I had surfaced on my chest. I am usually the one who tells women they are not my type. Being on the receiving end hurts like a bitch. Now I know why my exes called me a jerk. I hurt them without knowing I was doing it. It just took an itty-bitty lady to zap me back to reality, and open up a sea of emotions I never knew possible.
It’s dark, other than an insipid light from the overhead lamp. The lamp is swinging back and forth like a pendulum creating an even inky feeling. There is a girl hiding in the doorway watching the happenings in the room. She is so scared, probably hurt, I can’t be sure. A man is seated on a chair, blood lazily flowing from his head. His left eye is swollen from the beating he has been given. But I am worried about the girl…what is she doing there? She shouldn’t be there. If they find her, they are going to hurt her too! She goes to scream but I cover her mouth with my hand. “Be quiet!” I implore her. “Don’t make a sound.”
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“Red? Red, can you hear me?” Dr Kirwa asks. He takes her hand. “If you can hear me, squeeze my hand.”
Red’s finger moves slightly to squeeze the doc’s hand. I can see the effort it takes for her to do that one simple thing, and my murderous feeling resurface. If I get my hands on that driver I’m killing him.
“Can you open your eyes for me?” Dr Kirwa tries again. She tries to open them, but once she does, she immediately groans and closes them. Read More »